Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
