my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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