Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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