If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
