The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
