super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
