yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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