hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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