like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
