U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
