you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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