Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
3pm strippers are depressing
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Randomize
