i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
