...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
