Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize