She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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