So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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