Fine. I'll sleep in my office
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
