I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Houston, we have a squirter
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
