Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
