so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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