You can't motorboat a personality
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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