How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize