everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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