WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
