i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
