I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize