How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize