so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
