He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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