I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
