i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
