he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
