i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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