Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
