It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
