I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
