Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
