i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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