Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Never joke about your clitoris.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize