so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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