yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
