i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
