He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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