Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
