Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
