Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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