he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Come share oat with me in your robe
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
