Walk of Shame. In a state park.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
