So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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