You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
