I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
