and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
