did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The feeling are messing with the penis
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
