she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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