Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
