Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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