i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
