i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
